LOL!!!!

Good one!!!

It was really humid in the woods, so the two hiking buddies removed their shirts and shoes. But when they spotted a sign saying “Beware of bears,” one of them stopped to put his shoes back on.

“What’s the point?” the other says. “You can’t outrun a bear.”

“Actually,” says his friend, “all I have to do is to outrun you.”

Mike is not feeling well so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor runs tests and tells him to go home and he will call him when the resutls come back.
2 days later the doctor calls Mike.
The doctor tells Mike he has bad news and worse news.
The doctors says 1st the bad news, you have 24 hours to live.
Mike says THATS THE BAD NEWS, WHAT IS WORSE THAN THAT?
The doctor says, the worse news is, i forgot to call you yesterday.

LOL! That's a good one!

How do y'all like this set up?

A blond and a Burnett watch the 11:00 news. As they were watching they see a man going to jump off a building. The burnett says "$20 he jumps" blond says "deal", then the man jumps. The burnett says " I cannot accept your money cause I watched the 6:00 news" the blond replies " so did I, I didn't think the man was stupid enough to jump again........."

This furnace repair man enters a house and see,s this 90 pound pit bull sitting in the corner growling at him. The repair man is very nervous about the dog but he goes to do his job anyway. Right by the furnace is a parrot on a perch the parrot says to the repair man [Is it gonna be alright]well the whole time the guy is fixing the furnace the bird keeps asking the question [Is it gonna be alright]The repair man is so nervous about the dog that the bird finally hits his last nerve and he looks at the parrot and say.s can you say anything except [Is it gonna be alright] ? The parrot is quiet for a moment then say,s SICCCCHIMMM !!!